My birthday is rapidly approaching, which means that I have been experimenting with various cake recipes to find the cake, the cake to serve at any celebratory events which may arise. As you can see, gentle readers, my lack of ability to plan anything means that I have not yet planned a party…but I have planned the cake. And I’m not sure what this tells you about me.

For the last two weeks, I’ve been diddling and dabbling in various cakey delights, seeking the perfect and most ideal cake. And at last, I have found it. The base cake of all my dreams. The cake that I lie awake at night thinking about. I baked it yesterday afternoon, and the house quickly filled with an intoxicating scent which became almost unbearable. After whipping up a light maple frosting, I cut off a delicious, moist wedge with a perfect crumb and devoured it, and then I ate another one in quick succession.

So, without further ado, here’s the recipe for vanilla buttermilk cake. Please use it responsibly.

Cream together:
One cup butter
Two cups sugar

And I mean cream. Really blend these ingredients thoroughly into a light and fluffy mass before mixing in four eggs, one at a time, and then adding three teaspoons of vanilla.

In a separate bowl, sift together:

Two and three quarters cup flour
Three teaspoons baking powder
One teaspoon salt

Measure out one and three quarters cup of buttermilk.

Add around half of the flour to the butter and eggs, stir thoroughly, add half the milk, and repeat the process until all ingredients are combined. Bake at 350° Fahrenheit (176° Celsius) for around 45 minutes, or until a cake tester comes out clean. Allow the cake to cool and frost as desired.

Eat.