So I’ve been working on a list of my 10 favourite Buffy episodes, although as Joss Whedon points out, these sorts of things are constantly in flux. Therefore, I am unwilling to commit and say that these are my 10 favourite episodes of all time, but I do think that most of them are pretty darn awesome. FYI, if you haven’t seen Buffy, you shouldn’t read this post, because you will find it confusing and possibly boring, and also because it will spoil you, which will be a pity when you finally do watch Buffy.

I tried to think of a couple of criteria when narrowing down episodes to add to the list. For one thing, most of my favourite episodes are artistically amazing; there’s innovative use of lighting, music, and staging which really makes them stand out. A lot of them are also important for plot development, in some way or another. And some of them…are just too cool. I know that coolness is kind of a hallmark of the show, but even coolness has its ups and downs, and on occasion things transcend even my imaginative boundaries of coolness.

1. Innocence (Season Two, Episode 14)

This, for me, was the moment when the show really started to prove itself as being about more than just a show with a bad-ass chick and awesome fight scenes, because it was dark, and it was deep, and it was all allegorical and stuff. I think that it also spoke to a very real experience; how many of us have spent a night with someone and then found out that they changed? Granted, becoming an evil vampire may not be something we’ve all experienced, but the sudden shift in the dynamic between two people was very real, and very well done. Also, uhm, evil Angel is just cooler than good Angel. Sorry guys, but it’s true. And you know it.

2. Passion (Season Two, Episode 17)

Ok, this might actually go onto my list of all time favourite episodes, because what Angel does to Jenny is just so brilliantly inspired. I mean, Joss Whedon says “Death, La Boheme, and Tony Head with a flaming baseball bat. Come ON, people.” And he’s right. There’s nothing about this episode that doesn’t rock, and I think it also sets the stage for the various characters and their struggles with redemption and past deeds. As viewers, we know in the abstract that evil Angel is pretty evil, but this really brings it home. And as someone with a finely honed appreciation for vengeance and brilliant staging, I had to love that scene with Giles coming home, the opera on the stereo, the champagne on the table…so beautiful, it brought tears to my eyes.

3. I Only Have Eyes For You (Season Two, Episode 19)

Man, talk about redemption. In addition to just being creepy and wonderful with a dash of gender-bending thrown in, this was all about forgiveness and learning to come to terms with people. I love how Buffy just refuses to emphasize with James, until he possesses her and she really understands what it feels like. In “Earshot” in the next season, this idea kind of gets touched on again, that we really don’t know what’s going on in people’s lives until we stand in their shoes (or their heads) for a moment. I think that’s another really important theme in the show, as well, and I note that three of my favourite episodes are from season two, so obviously they got a lot of setting up, themewise, done this season.

4. Hush (Season Four, Episode 10)

This is often hailed as one of the greatest Buffy episodes ever, because it’s so beautiful, and so experimental, and just so freakin’ awesome you see it and you want to pee your pants. Whedon claims that he did this episode as a personal challenge, to get out of the rut of formulaic dialogue and cinematography, and boy howdy did he get out of the rut. The very idea of an entire town stricken with an inability to speak is so very excellent, and it plays upon the almost constant Buffy theme of a lack of communication. Also, the Gentlemen are seriously, seriously nightmare-inducing creepy.

5. Restless (Season Four, Episode 22)

Talk about arty, and talk about a huge departure from the norm for network television. Instead of ending season four with the big payoff, they went for the surrealistic dream sequence, and they did a freakin’ AMAZING job with it. I love the lighting, I love the scenes, I love the staging, I love the themes, I love the Cheese Man, I love the entire damn thing. I can’t even single out a moment in this episode to point to as the most awesome one, because the whole thing is just so damn wonderful. I mean, Spike and Giles on the swing set in tweed? Buffy in the desert with the first Slayer? Willow running through the, ah, red velvet curtains? Xander in the ice cream truck, crawling around like a soldier? There are so many beautiful moments. It plays with a bunch of themes from the show, it puts people in ludicrous situations, and it takes viewers far beyond their comfort zone. Oh, yes.

6. The Body (Season Five, Episode 16)

The death of Joyce is obviously a cathartic moment in the show, but what I love about this episode is how beautifully it captured the mundane and numbing aspect of grief. The awkwardness of not knowing what to do, of nervous making/eating food, of being unsure about plans. I liked that it encompassed everything about how weird death is, how strange it is that people die, and that it managed to do it brilliantly, with all these harsh camera angles, and the total absence of music, and long, uncomfortable pauses. You watch “The Body” and you wish you were almost anywhere else because it feels so intrusive and violating, but, at the same time, you’re sucked into it. Also, great that they managed to tie in the strange sexuality which surrounds death without making it crude and too obvious.

7. Once More, With Feeling (Season Six, Episode Seven)

It’s a musical. Do I really need to say more? Musical. Buffy. I hate musicals, and I fucking ADORE “Once More, With Feeling,” because it’s funny, and excellent, and while it is the polar opposite of “Hush,” it also has a lot of similarities. I mean, two seasons later, the characters are still struggling to communicate with each other, and all these secrets just come spilling out. Oh, and the cast are pretty darn good singers, too. I mean Tony Head, of course, is a good singer, but I was darn impressed with Amber Benson’s pipes.

Also, did you hear Joss Whedon voicing the “grr, argh” at the end? Priceless.

8. Smashed (Season Seven, Episode Nine)

Uhm, yeah. The scene. In the house. With Spike and Buffy. May be the hottest scene ever broadcast on network television. I mean, HOLY SHIT. Damn. Jesus. I almost need to take a cold shower just thinking about it.

On another note, one thing about the characterization of the relationship between Spike and Buffy really bothers me, and that is the implication that the violent aspects of their relationship are inherently self destructive. Now, that scene in “Seeing Red” with them in the bathroom, that is violent and self destructive and horrible. But there’s nothing wrong with a bit of good, clean roughhousing. And, you know, superheroes would naturally roughhouse a bit more, ah, roughly than the rest of us. There are a lot of things about the relationship that are destructive and unhealthy (like the fact that she tries to hide it from her friends), but I really object to the idea that violent sexuality is necessarily bad. I mean, it’s, uh, obviously consensual, and everyone’s having a good time, so what’s the problem?

9. Normal Again (Season Six, Episode 17)

I love this episode both because it’s delightfully self-referential, and because it toys with the heads of the viewers. I mean, most of the time when you have crazy shows about supernatural happenings with totally unbelievable events, you just accept them, and so do the characters. “Normal Again” turned the entire concept of Buffy on its head by forcing viewers to ask themselves whether or not the story is even real. Is Buffy a superhero, the chosen, the Slayer, or is she just some really messed-up girl in an institution who created a complex fantasy world?

10. Touched (Season Seven, Episode 20)

I find the episodes at the end of the seventh season incredibly heartbreaking and depressing, because there’s something really sad about watching Buffy slowly build up her character over seven years, and then having her life turned upside down. To be betrayed by the people you care most deeply about is a pretty intense thing, and it’s agonizing to watch. The tension at the end of this season just doesn’t let up, either. No happy funtime lightweight episodes to break up the somberness, just straight up unrelenting heartbreak, evil, and skulduggery.

“Touched” shows Buffy at her most human, and most vulnerable, and I find it quite fascinating that she turns to Spike, in the end, when her friends turn on her. I think it really illustrates how the two are really outsiders when it comes down to it, even when she comes back to reunite the gang and gets her friends back. There’s a thread there, that happens in situations like that, and it forges a very strong bond between people, making Spike’s sacrifice in episode 22 all the more sad.

Brendan and I went to see The Other Boleyn Girl earlier this week, and I’ve just now gotten around to writing about it. Please forgive me. I know you were waiting on anxious tenterhooks to decide whether or not to see this movie, and I’m sure my delayed review has caused you much pain and heartache.

We went to see this movie with several expectations in mind. Mainly, we just wanted to see Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman, because they are both very lovely ladies, and talented actresses to boot. Also, the previews suggested a high probability of women in tight dresses with attractive bosoms, which pretty much sold us. We both have an appreciation for the female form. (Which I don’t think conflicts with feminist values. I like women. I like women who I think are pretty. I don’t think that appreciating beautiful women is objectifying them, especially when they are smart and talented and wonderful.)

We didn’t expect all of our expectations to come true, but we were hoping for perhaps some pretty costumes, maybe a dash of historical accuracy, a sister-sister-king threesome (come on, like you weren’t thinking it?) and some nice sets. I’d say we got two out of four, which I guess ain’t bad. I mean, the dresses and sets were really, really pretty. Alas, there were a few other people in the theatre, so we had to keep our mockery of the awful dialogue muffled.

Those Tudor women knew how to dress, man. I realize that sort of thing isn’t practical these days, but good lord, were those dresses fabulous. All embroidered and huge and encrusted with jewels and fabulous. Incidentally, the Very Merry Seamstress makes some pretty darn droolworthy period pieces. I may not dress up much, but I’ve always been a big fan of Tudor gowns. I’m just sayin’.

At any rate, beyond that, it was a pretty awful movie. The script was excruciating, and they obviously moved things around and skipped details to satisfy their needs as filmmakers, which is, I suppose, acceptable, but still irritating. As someone who knows a bit, but not a lot, about that period in history, I was just kind of frustrated by the movie, and for people who didn’t know anything, the film might have created some erroneous impressions.

Like, say, the idea that Henry Tudor was a nice guy. And why the hell didn’t the actor have red hair? The Tudors are kind of famous for it, especially Henry, and it would have been a nice and not that hard detail to include. They also kind of glossed over the fact that he was a whoremongering assmunch who was probably dripping in STDs. And do I need to remind you that he beheaded not one, but two of his wives? That would be considered spousal abuse, these days, my friends.

It’s such a lush and interesting period in history that I think they could have made the film much more truthful, much racier, and thereby much more enjoyable. As it was, I can see why it was rated PG-13.

The rumours are true. I have become dangerously addicted to Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I’ve watched bits and pieces of the show at varying times in my life, often in large chunks, but last week, I sat down and started watching the show from the beginning, and now I can’t stop myself. Seeing it in order…it’s showing me what a freakin’ excellent show it is, how complex, how the characters grow and evolve, along with the show itself, and basically I must bow down before the god that is Joss Whedon.

I feel like Buffy has pretty much attained cult status at this point, which means that either people get it and starting talking excitedly when the show is mentioned, or they shake their heads dismissively at all of us sheep who mindlessly watch it. But I beg to differ. My savoring of the greatness that is Buffy is far from mindless, because if people are able to put prejudices aside, it’s a pretty complicated and involved show with a lot of stuff going on.

Yes, there are lots of scenes with hot girls kicking butt, which you could dismiss as pandering to the patriarchy, but it’s also pretty empowering to watch a girl be a badass, because I watch and think “hey, I could do that.” And there are a lot of, er, nonconventional relationships in the show which are treated with tolerance and respect, and there’s a lot about friendship and family values, and that’s more than you can say for a lot of the crap on television these days.

Sure, some seasons are better than others, and some episodes are, uh, not as awesome at others, but I mean come on. The show aired for seven years, people, you can’t expect every single episode to be stellar. And some episodes are pretty amazing, when you think about the fact that they aired on network television.

Take the fugue dream state in “Restless,” or the brilliantly staged and composed “The Body.” Brilliance from the mind of a master, I tell you. You really get the sense that the whole crew is insanely talented and immensely coordinated, synchronized with each other, from the way they work with each other and with the material they are given.

I guess what I’m saying is, if you haven’t started watching Buffy yet, do it. And if you are already one of the cult, then, uh, carry on.

I’m, er, going to go back to watching Buffy now.

I have now watched “Patriots and Tyrants” twice, and I feel in a fit state to comment on it. And on the future of Jericho.

For a series finale, the episode was pretty good. It was obvious that there was a lot of pressure from CBS to come up with a neatly wrapped up ending in addition to the cliffhanger which had been originally written, and it was difficult to encapsulate an entire season in seven episodes to begin with, let alone end the show in 40 minutes. I would really like to see the cliffhanger, to see what direction the show could have gone in, but for what it was, this was a reasonably good ending. Hopefully the cliffhanger will be in the special features of the DVD…
A lot of people have criticized the second season, arguing that it didn’t hold together and dissing on the writers. I disagree with these criticisms, because I think the season was strong, but also intellectually demanding. I suspect that everyone knew this was it for Jericho, so they really put their backs into it, and it showed. The core message of this season is that people get the governments they want, and that if you have a problem with your government, you have a moral obligation to speak up about it. To do something about it. And I hope that my fellow Jericho fans got this message and will bring it with them to the outside world.

People who didn’t like the second season probably didn’t like the messages in it, with Jennings and Rall becoming a megalithic corporation which took over the American government, corrupting it from the inside out, much like corporations are doing to the real American government, right now. They probably also didn’t like the thought of using the military to control American citizens, and they were repelled by the idea that violent revolution against a corrupt government is sometimes the only appropriate action to take.

That’s understandable, because the last thing the United States government wants right now is a violent revolution. And Jericho drew a lot of parallels with our own government and our government’s actions, especially with Jake’s torture scene in “Sedition,” with a faint (though never explicit) suggestion that the viewers needed to think more like the citizens of Jericho, before it’s too late. Not only that, but the show distinguished between good and bad revolutions, underscoring the differences between Jericho and New Bern. The show also encourages revolution from within the military, as we see Major Beck go from being a yes man to a man who objects to a corrupt government and is willing to fight against it. Not only that, but Beck enlists his men in the fight.

Some people have criticized Beck as not feeling like a very realistic character, claiming that soldiers always have the right to refuse orders. Those same people are obviously not reading the reports out of Iraq from soldiers who have been threatened until they followed orders which they felt were illegal. Or the claims from conscientious objectors who have said the same thing. Yes, soldiers can refuse orders they believe are illegal, but in actuality, that doesn’t happen very often, and when it does, it takes immense courage.

I also think this episode hinted at some possible new directions for our characters. I think that in the cliffhanger, Eric might have made an allegiance with Constantino, and we could have seen a parting of the ways between the brothers, with Jake redeeming himself for his deeds overseas while his brother found himself on a dangerous path. Their personalities have always been at odds, and in some ways, Eric is a very weak person. I would have liked to see that play out a little more. I am also interested to see how Jake would do as a national hero, to see who would fight in the civil war, and see what would happen if/when the civil war came to Jericho.

One thing the episode most certainly did was wrap up Stanley and Mimi with a nice little bow, but that was one of the few true resolutions in the episode. I was also really glad to see Stanley haul himself out of his dark place, undertaking the cathartic act of burying Bonnie and preparing to move forward. Had the show continued, I think we also would have seen more of Gray Anderson, because he started to grow a pair towards the end there. I would also have liked to see what happened with Trish and other good people within the Jennings and Rall framework, and to know what happens with Dale, and Heather, and lots of other people I have grown rather attached to, like Emily, who alas spent most of this season running around with a gun in a dirty undershirt, rather than talking. These characters are complex and well developed, and there are a lot of places for them to go.

The episode was also open ended. We leave the characters on the brink of civil war, with the assurance that the good guys “might have a chance this time,” and that leaves a lot of room for future seasons of Jericho, if the show gets picked up by another network. And I hope it does, because I really want to see more from the amazing cast and crew. I think that Jericho would also benefit from having a clear-cut story arc, like Lost or the Wire, along with a definite ending point. All good things must come to an end, and I think that the true end of Jericho lies on the other side of the civil war.

Last night, I finally got a chance to watch the latest Jericho episode, Termination for Cause, and boy howdy was it a humdinger. Let’s just say, before the cut, that the plot is humming right along.

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Note: If you haven’t watched last night’s episode of Jericho (Oversight), you should not continue reading this post, which I’m hiding behind a jump because I really hate spoilers and I figure you do too. Also, those of you who don’t watch Jericho for some stupid reason won’t find this post that interesting. Hey, have I mentioned recently that you should really start watching Jericho if you aren’t already?

[...]

As I hope you all know, tonight is the season premier of Jericho: Season Two. It airs on CBS at 10pm. So watch it. If you need to get all fired up, CBS has a bunch of delicious season two previews up, and let me tell you that they got me all excited. I even wiggled around a little bit on my big blue ball, and there may have been a faint squeaking noise to convey unbearable excitement, but I won’t swear to it.

If you’re tired of hearing me blather about Jericho, that’s just too darn bad. Go read a newspaper or something.

There are only seven episodes in season two, thanks to the cancellation and then restoration of the show, which kind of put a crimp in creating a full season. I’m hoping that there will be a season three, and perhaps a four as well, but that’s not going to happen without huge popular support for Jericho.

I have found that everyone whom I introduce to the show loves it, and they are looking forward to the second season almost as much as I am. Jericho has a huge following, especially among us young’uns, and unfortunately we don’t get counted because most of us watch Jericho online, taking advantage of this whole “new media revolution.” Since CBS is obviously just giving up on the show, apparently it is up to us to make sure that Jericho survives.

If you haven’t gotten into the show yet, you really should. It’s a post-apocalyptic drama with explosions, car chases, plagues, and hot chicks in tight shirts. There’s pretty much everything anyone could ever want in a television show, including daring doctors, sexy rebels, stern motherly figures, smokin’ hot geekettes, rugged sheriffs, and ponies. As I’ve said before, I’ll loan my season one DVDs to anyone local who wants to watch the show and promises to be nice to them, and you can also get them from your local video store. They’re also up on the CBS site, right here.  Watch the pilot and see if it piques your interest.

If you watch the first episode of the second season and like it, write a letter to CBS and tell them all about it.  If you’ve just cottoned on to the whole Jericho thing and you watch some episodes from season one and you like them, write CBS and tell them how glad you are that a second season is available. And spread the gospel of Jericho so that we can look forward to more seasons in the future.

F and I went to see No Country For Old Men last night, and I really liked it. Now, before you go on about how it’s been out for months and ask how I could possibly be so lazy, please note that our movie theatre is very small, so we only get major first run movies or movies which have been nominated for things. This is a source of great disappointment to me, because I know that I’m missing out on a lot of great movies, and I was pleased to see No Country For Old Men finally get here.

I’ve been trying to be better lately when reviewing things to spell out why I liked and didn’t like them, because I notice that I have a tendency to just make a blanket statement and leave it at that. In addition to not being very interesting or helpful, I think this also suggests a lack of adequate probing and exploration.

So here are some concrete reasons for liking this movie:

1. The music. Or, rather, the lack thereof. I really, really liked that the music in this film was extremely minimal, because it forced the movie itself to create a mood. I feel like a lot of films use music as a manipulative tool, and in this case, people were actually forced to, you know, act, to set a scene. I also felt that this made the film more real to me, because who goes around with an orchestra all the time? The sound also felt very raw and real to me; not dirty, just…not all tidied up and neat.
2. The cinematography. There were a lot of great angles, not in the “oooh we’re hip and funky way,” but in a crisp, clear, desolate kind of way that really fit with the film. They also used light really well. I felt like the cinematography created a very distinct feel for the film; I liked the use of light, I liked the use of shadows, I liked the sometimes peculiar angles. There’s one scene where a character slowly closes all the curtains in a room, filling it with darkness except for the light which bleeds around the curtains: I liked that. I liked it even more when he opened the door and a slash of bright light filled the room. I liked the sweeping shots of the Texas landscape, and I liked the tight, close quarters shots too.

3. The feel. The film had a very timeless sense about it which I really enjoyed. I liked the use of colors and textures to create various moods, and the mood felt…bleak. Desperate. Like the novel. I dug that.  Again, without the use of music, the film was really required to support itself, and I really liked that.

4. I also like the scenes with the sheriff a lot; I thought they were well framed, and I liked the development of the character, a sort of Stage Manager* who also interacts with the other characters. The scene at the end was…well…fucking perfect. I don’t want to say more than that because I want you to go see this movie (and if you have, I think you know what I am talking about with the sheriff).

Beyond these points, it was just a damn good movie. It was compelling, and strong, and different. If Hollywood could produce more films like this, I would be a much happier camper. This film really showcased the many great things that this medium is capable of, and it made me gravely disappointed in all the schlock coming out of Hollywood these days. Although I have been seeing some damn fine movies lately. Juno, for example. This gives me hope for humanity.
*I am referring to the Stage Manager in Our Town, not a theatrical stage manager, in case you are confused. Think Our Town is cheesy? Go read it again and try paying attention this time.

We watched Juno this weekend, since our movie theatre finally got it, and then I read this op-ed about it, and it made me sad. But I still think it’s a good movie, even if the op-ed does make a very valid point.

For those of you who don’t know about Juno, it’s a movie about teen pregnancy, and being a teenager in general. Except that it’s witty, rather than sad, and it has a stellar cast. It was also written by Diablo Cody, who is a pretty interesting lady; last year I read her book about working as a stripper, and it was quite interesting and extremely funny.

Parts of the movie were almost too hipster to be borne, but that’s kind of the way with movies aimed at a youthful demographic these days, I sense. I mean, I liked Superbad even though it was also painfully hipster, so I can’t really bag on Juno for being that way. Juno herself was a solid, funny character who I think really was very believable. I don’t really want to go into too much detail about the movie, not that there’s a lot to give away, but movies are more fun when everything hasn’t been laid out for you. But I will say that there were a lot of excellent characters, and the film had interesting music and strong cinematography.

It was an interesting movie to watch because I don’t find teen pregnancy particularly funny, and I suspect that most people don’t, so it was sort of odd to view it in a humorous context. I also think that the movie glossed over the difficult parts, like being ostracized by your school district for being pregnant, and the immense emotional struggle involved in deciding to put a baby up for adoption. But then again, not every movie needs to be serious, and not every movie needs to have some deep moral lesson. Sometimes you just need to laugh.

Sometimes I find myself watching a movie and wondering about whether or not it’s going to become a classic which is watched for generations. This particular style of movie feels very dated to me. Not dated in a bad way, but it is done in a style which is very much cool right now, and I don’t know if it will endure for another decade. Maybe that’s what makes a classic; perhaps 50 years from now people will be watching films like Juno because they so perfectly encapsulate this time, just like we watch movies from the 1940s because we like the distinctly 1940s feel. Perhaps not.

If you’re not a twenty something or a teenager, you might not like Juno very much, because the film kind of feels like a gigantic inside joke. But maybe you will. Give it a shot and let me know, eh?

I have some words of advice for any of you who are planning to see this movie: don’t.

I know that there’s no accounting for taste and all, and generally when I review something unfavorably, I expect some people to disagree. But this is, bar none, one of the worst movies ever made. It’s certainly the worst movie I’ve seen this year, and possibly this decade. Not only was The Golden Compass absolutely vile, it was also a complete disservice to the book. I hope that Philip Pullman is covering his eyes in shame somewhere for even allowing such a project to be associated with him.

Now, one of my main irritants with people who criticize things is that they often cannot explain why, exactly, they think that something is terrible. Which makes it difficult to argue with them, because they keep going “oh, it’s just awful.” So I thought I’d set out some talking points to explain why this film was so bad.

Let’s start with why it’s a bad movie.

The dialog was painfully stupid; to the point that we started wondering if the film was the result of an elementary school writing contest. These awkward, stilted, very stagy scenes were spattered throughout the movie, and the stiffness wasn’t from the acting, because the cast was actually quite good. It was obviously the awful script that essentially left the actors hamstrung. The characters were flat and dimensionless, and we didn’t get a chance to learn anything about any of them because they whizzed quickly by on screen.

Had I not read the book, I think I would have been in a state of deep confusion. The movie jumped about by bits and starts, dropping random events into the mix that would leave your head spinning if you didn’t already know the plot. I understand that things need to be cut and moved around to adapt a film from a book, and I accept that, but this was poorly done.

The special effects were…well…awful. The daemons looked awful. The city looked awful. Pretty much everything involving any sort of animation looked just dreadful, or so painfully cheesy that you wanted to cover your eyes. (Which I did at one point, actually.)

Also, the composition was criminal. I think that the camera man actually wandered off a couple of times, leaving the camera pointing roughly in the direction of the scene. There were a couple of times when the framing was so laughable that an absent camera man is the only explanation. I’m all for edgy angles and unusual perspectives, but this was just bad.

As for why it’s a bad adaptation…

It really was a complete slaughter of the book. The book is dark and complex. Readers don’t learn things until the characters do, and we care, deeply, about the characters, because Pullman develops them slowly and elegantly. The book is an adventure to read because there’s so much going on and everything is this great mystery.

The movie was not a mystery, at all. From the idiotic voiceover at the beginning, I knew we were doomed. Instead of lettings things unfold, the movie forced things on us, but only partially, which I imagine was frustrating for people who haven’t read the books. The stupid expository bits didn’t illuminate the story or what was going on, they just added to the confusion. Once again, I know that books are very different from films, and it’s a bit tricky to let a plot unfold in the way it does in a book, but still.

The awkward, stilted dialog left the characters flat, dull, and stupid. They are not stupid in the book. It is a great shame that the film dumbed them down, as one of the things I like about the His Dark Materials trilogy is its intelligence.

The film did not capture the darkness and the terror of the books, the themes about growing up and change. It did not end where the book ended, with Lyra’s betrayal of Roger and that awesome yet awful unveiling of a bridge between the worlds.

I also like how the film completely skated over the fact that the Magisterium is the church. Funny, that. And it provided details in weird ways which really changed the characters and plot for me. For example, Lyra learns from Ms. Coulter herself about her parentage in the film, which is a far cry from hearing the story from the Gyptians in the book, complete with complexities which are related to the themes of the book.

I feel like my comparisons of films to books are often unfavorable, and I think that this is a common complaint, although I have seen a few decent and sometimes even good adaptations. But this film was total garbage from top to bottom, no matter how you look at it, so don’t bother wasting your time. And if someone you know has the gall to say it’s good, you have my permission to smack them soundly about the head and shoulders.

Given that this movie was so awful, I doubt there will be a production of The Subtle Knife, which is probably a good thing. I can only take so much literary desecration before I snap.